Intimacy with the Lord

Today the Lord has edified me by giving me a deeper understanding of what true intimacy is with the Lord. He has shown me this through my desire to find out more of what was going on with my mom right now. In this I had an increasing desire to find out what was on my mom’s mind and heart today.

While we were sitting at the table eating breakfast we were having a conversation about stuff. Nothing important just talking about what happen at thanksgiving dinner, who she spoke to in the family recently, the house inspection we had today, the kids, and her shopping experience at Wal-Mart, etc. Towards the end of the conversation with my mom, I had this increasing desire to stop talking to her about things that were not on her heart nor important, and to talk to her about what was in her heart, what she was desiring right now, what she wanted right now, what she was struggling with right now, what she was sad about right now, what she dreamed about right now, what was her goals right now, what would make her happy right now, what would please her right now. In me desiring to find out these things about my mom, my heart was yearning to just talk to her about these things and to help her accomplish them. I wanted to be her outlet because of the love I had for her. I wanted to know what she needed and I wanted to be the person to provide for her in the fashion she needed. This all steamed from a deep love I have for my mom. In the past, throughout my whole life of 20 something plus years, my mom told me almost everything about what she was going through, feeling, experiencing, and desiring at every point in her life. When she had to make a decision she would come to me first and ask me what I think she should do and I was missing this communication with me mom. We would spend our time laughing, crying, and just talk about the deepest parts of our hearts with each other and in this I grew closer with my mom and our relationship became better and better.

This morning the Lord lead me into this revelation experience with my mom, where I was desiring to have greater intimacy with my mom and not just a surface conversation, so that the Lord could show me how he desired to have intimacy with me. Over the past few days had been struggling in communicating with the Lord and understanding how to talk to the Lord and what to talk about. I had made many attempts to sit at the Lord’s feet and let him just speak to me, but I wasn’t successful in that because I was allowing my mind to get clouded with false beliefs of what the Lord is thinking of me. I was feeling lost and didn’t know how to get to the place where I was just resting at the Lord’s feet and allowing him to speak to me. I was working to hard at trying to do things that I thought would make the Lord speak to me, and in this it lead me to tears of frustration in my efforts to communicate with the Lord. However, because of the experience the Lord caused me to have this morning with my mom, I now have a deeper understanding of what true intimacy with the Lord is and looks like.

In intimacy there is no judgment in the mist of the conversation. Intimacy starts with at least you liking the person enough for you to desire to learn more about them. Then as you learn more about them, you grow to love them more. Because of your love for them and your desire to continue to get to know the person more, you are not going to judge them because you don’t want to run them away from you.

When you are intimate with someone you share your deepest thoughts and experiences, you are free in your conversation, you tell it all and hold nothing back. You desire to just talk to the person and to find out more of who they are and what makes them happy, what brings them joy and laughter. You don’t come to a conversation with someone who you truly desire to be intimate with, with your own agenda of what you can get from them our out of the conversation. Matter-of-fact you bring no preconceived notions, impression, opinions, beliefs, ideas, etc. to the conversation. In the conversation, because of the love you have for the person, you come into the conversation seeking to only please them and not yourself. In intimacy your mind and your desires are not focused on you. You get pleasure and satisfaction from pleasing them and doing what ever makes that person happy.

When you have intimacy with someone you come to see and believe, beyond anything, that that person truly enjoys spending their time with you. And that they only want and desire to spend even more time with you. When you are intimate with someone you can’t wait to sit back down with them and tell them everything about your day, life, and desires. You want them to hear it all and you value what they have to say. The time you spend with that person is irreplaceable and all you look forward to is the moments you share with them.

In this understanding that the Lord has given me, he is showing me how my relationship with him should be at all times. When I come into a conversation with him, my love for him will lead me down the path to where I only care about what makes him happy and I only want to do what makes him happy and I only want to talk about what makes him happy because I love him and I am not focused on myself. My love for the Lord should lead me down the path of laying all of my cards on the table and not holding anything back. My love for the Lord should lead me to believe that the Lord doesn’t judge me and that he will never say anything to hurt or bring harm to me and to believe this beyond anything someone else can say or think because I know how much the Lord loves me.

In this, I now see that the Lord desires so much, to spend so much time with me sitting at his feet and listening to him tell me everything that makes him happy, laugh, sad, cry, etc. He wants to tell me what he wants from me and what he thinks of our relationship. He wants to tell me what his heart desires. He wants to tell me what is on his mind and what he thinks. He wants to tell me what he thinks of me. He wants to tell me what he thinks of his body, (The body of Christ). He wants to tell me what his plans for the future are. He wants to laugh and play with me. He wants to share great moments and to show me great things to come, in heaven and even present right now. The Lord desires to be truly intimate with me in ways in which I have never experienced before and I now see and believe this and all praise and glory is given to the Lord.

Where I may look at myself and see that the love I have for the Lord is not strong enough right now to lead me into true intimacy, I must seek the Lord and ask him to build in me the love for him that will lead me to true, deep intimacy with him that no one and nothing, can separate or take away.

I praise the Lord for He hears my cry and is always faithful to my every tear.

Thank You Jesus. J